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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Blind seer

Blind Seer: "You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation."
That's how I've been feeling the last few days out on the coast. Just truly amazed at the variety of life. We apple the world. Today I met a fellow traveler, living out of his van, surfing... This is how it's meant to be. This is real life. The facade is our houses and cars and all that. I feel afraid at some point every day, so far out of my comfort zone. But opportunities arise when I need them. The flow is rather perfect really. A few days ago I ran into a couple who needed someone to help paint. So I had a four day job in Oceanside. Suddenly that opportunity was over and I moved on into the next thing. Don't cling to rocks falling with you, said Alan watts. Free fallin. 
I went out paddling in an sup board a few days ago. I thought I was going to sink into the murky waters. A pack and a guitar as the only trace that I ever existed on this swirl. But I the people who knew better helped me navigate safely into land. I kissed the sand. This is what it's like, every day. I surf out farther and farther above the depths. I sing to my fear. I get stronger.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Ocean Beach

Journal entry November 7, 2013
How could I describe this day to you in all of its detail? I woke on a rooftop by the beach. Jason, (my couchsurfing host) and I had some coffee and eggs and I set off for the water.
"Live what you love" said a voice behind me. He was reading my shirt to me. He was doing yoga, and I ran back and started copying his movements. Like Kerouac did with Moriarty. Later I would follow him through the streets, hollering songs, petting dogs "the only ones for me are the mad ones..."
Three Brazilian surfers were dancing by us, to the old guy playin tunes. (Neil young, bob Dylan... Croooning) they started crawling around like animals on the prowl and soon my Moriarty joined them, as did I and we laughed and grabbed a bottle and ran in odd formations catching it. I was a pro athlete. I was a gazelle. It felt like first grade. Then this guy from the Bahamas started teaching us how to block,  and do cartwheels. Tai chi blocking, hands in circles together. Three of us cartwheeling in a circle, to the other persons' spot. And Daniel (my Moriarty) got us lunch -bananas and brownies, and we went singing down the street "California!" The beautiful people of California were peering at us from behind sunglasses, amazed. We didn't care! We were talking about ego in the hologram and the field. We met Q soon after and he hugged me right away, and everyone hugged at every greeting, like it's meant to be. Q showed us putting sand slowly through both hands again and again, then suddenly drop it and see what your eyes see. He says that's like your karma manifesting. Wild stuff. I loved these ppl! But I need to head on up... If I have any kind of mission, with all this wander yondering. They told me stay, why waste my time in the cold... I don't care. There are more beautiful souls to meet.
We sang bob Dylan , big guy named mike in overalls playin ... Beautiful guy named Ozzie on harmonica. Sad sad to leave them in a way. Maybe I'll see where they are tomorrow and follow them around... Bad idea, I know. I'll keep to my course.
One of the bums had his dog loose and it ticked off the lifeguard who came over to assert his dominance. 
Mike gave him hell and he left. You could tell he thought he was better than all of us out there enjoying the ocean, cuz he was on the job ya know? It was sad to see him like that, so domineering and afraid. I realized I still judge these people who I was hanging out with, still giving myself a curfew and shit. When will I let it all happen??
Still, an incredibly lovely day <3
We collect moments with each other , like little marbles of joy. Daniel picked up a rock and handed it to me. "It's a gratitude rock" he said.
What incredible teachers I have on this journey! 
The entire journey is worth it for just this one day of true living. I danced with strangers turned quickly to friends. ( we hugged in parting, natural, alive!!) 
Another rooftop night. 
This is what I meant. Beautiful...

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Healed and walking

Just now I stood to walk and my legs... Well, it was that old bone weary road weary glad feel in every aching muscle. 
I'm shocking myself here... I'm on the road again how did this happen where did I begin? It's deep in me, this wanderlust.
San Diego. I came with Patricia, from Reevis Mountain, AZ, to hear Jesus (in the reincarnated, highly debated form of AJ Miller - he could call himself Garfield the cat reincarnated, and I'd still enjoy his teachings). So there we were, Patricia and I, at the doggie beach, wading. Suddenly she fell back into the water, and I stood in awe until my free spirit caught up to me and I jumped in behind clothes and all. It was that kind of day. We played like little girls til sunset. Who has been as alive as we? Or as free? Or as sad and shadowed?
That night I realized, yes. I need to walk this coast and love it and be in this water, for weeks, for months! As I realized this a young man came up behind me, with a huge green pack on his back. He said he'd carried it from LA to San Diego, and told me all about his adventures over dinner.
So it's been a few days and here I go, exploring again in the outer to see what is transformed in the inner. 
Today I met an Italian woman street painter, and she told me about her twin. 
I went into a Piano shop and sang my songs for an old man named Peter who's wife is about to die. He told me about his summer long journey when he was my age. He told me he'll be lost without his wife.
I ran into a man named Raymond who had run out of gas, and we went to the gas station to get his car going again. 
That's the kind of days I have, on the road. And tonight a couchsurfing host is letting me sleep on the rooftop, just near the water. Who is as blessed as I am? Or as weary? Or as glad?